The distinguished man from Wisconsin is stuck on a bad political gig as if he’s the opening act for a Vanilla Ice / Los Del Rios tour.
Scratch that. Paul Ryan is on the side stage with his band called The Budget… yeah lets go with that one….
The Numbers Guy Congressman… that’s his stage name… it’s a bit tiresome really. At first Ryan asked to be called just “NG”, then he changed that to a dollar sign with a slash through it, but no one knew how to pronounce it: how does one pronounce the opposite of “ker-ching”? Most people just use the full band name “The Congressman & The Budget”. Anyway, The Congressman & The Budget is like the local pop punk band that fills time between shows at SKATE FEST because they won a radio contest and the drummer’s girlfriend used to date the DJ (… but that was a long time ago… she’s a much different person now…).
Their first hit song: “I’ll balance your budget in 10 years, baby (but your grandma can’t come to the wedding)”
March, 2013, on one of the infamous Sunday VFW shows… well Fox News (it’s same basic maturity demographic), The Budget’s front man discussed his fancy new composition (because, lest we forget, Congressman Paul Ryan is “a numbers guy” and exploring more complex modes and modeling plugins – some sort of new age math-based electronic music noise that’s supposed to be cool in glow stick corners of Ft. Lauderdale). During the show at the Fox News VFW hall, The Congressman once again called for repealing Obamacare.
Insiders say that there was some sort of in-fighting before either of the groups came onto the regional music scene. Paul Ryan swears up and down that he was the original lead guitarist and back-up singer for Obamacare, but that he “was screwed” by a contest the band held on facebook; something about biased apps. People voting on facebook picked who, Paul Ryan or some guy from Delaware nicknamed Smile, was actually the best back-up vocalist / lead guitarist to play for Obamacare. Smile won. Paul Ryan was furious. After “voting-gate,” Paul Ryan formed The Budget and has been struggling somewhat pathetically to win back the attention of the media critics ever since… the very same media who used to call him “dreamy” and “the next big thing in Washington.”
Paul Ryan said of The Budget’s latest release, “Yes, our budget does promote repealing Obamacare and replacing it with a better system…”
At least Chris Wallace is able to face reality and replied with a simple (and truthful), “That’s not going to happen.”
And of course, there is no other, better system. There never is in the Republican Party platform.
Haven’t we been through this already? Has not the republican majority in Congress unsuccessfully voted to repeal Obamacare more than 30 times? I understand that the Republican Party’s sole purpose in the United States of America is to try and rewind the clock of social progress and upward mobility, but I didn’t expect it to literally be a broken record replaying a tired (and wrong) song. I’m not sure if Paul Ryan is a second-rate musician who’s only written one song (or one verse of one song), or if he’s the very definition of crazy.
Broken record or certifiable… either way, he’s not doing any good for the country.
First Read noted that Paul Ryan’s budget isn’t serious … I think that is a very generous choice of words. Thankfully the point of POLITUSIC is to make noise, not be nice. Paul Ryan’s budget is a moronic rehash of decades old, disqualified, in the words of many in the Catholic Church, “immoral” policymaking.
Paul Ryan looks to the sky holding his “new” budget in his hands, sees that it is blue and says aloud, “Nah… it’s green, because my budget says so… and I’m a numbers guy, so if I smile and work out a lot, I’ll win the senior vote and no one will notice.”
You know what? I’m not a numbers guy, but Jim Nussle is. Jim was the / a director of the Office of Management and Budget in the good ‘ole George W. Bush days. Jim told CNBC that Paul Ryan’s budget is “not based in reality.”
This is a Bush-ite… telling saying Paul Ryan’s budget ideas aren’t based in reality. When that happens, we all should take a step or two back to ponder the implications for a little while.
I’m torn insofar as I can’t make up my mind if Paul Ryan is a one-hit wonder who will disappear in a couple years, or if he’s embedded enough to stay in Congress playing for The Budget for as a life-long career.
I admit, the content of The Congressman & The Budget’s swan song is sometimes catchy – it can suck you in and get stuck in your head like a bad penny. Some people really, really want to like it (mainly due to peer pressure). The chorus has a good line or two that make listeners feel good and tap their feet to the beat. But the song is a piece of superficial crap with no substance or meaning. I bet he doesn’t even perform it live, and the vocal has been auto-tuned on every note.
Congressman Paul Ryan might look good on a magazine cover, but the man can’t sing (and don’t get me started on his performance or stage presence). Paul Ryan and The Budget can’t write an original song.
He’ll be playing on the casino circuit in no time.
Published: by | Updated: 06-27-2013 10:02:51
