No, really. I’m serious. Tea Party tenacity is all about how you spin the disaster of the day.
The key to making policy progress aimed at curbing global warming is to corner the Republican Party in their own climate change denial dance. The GOP is actually no longer flat out denying climate change, they just deny the cause. We can still make policy to decrease carbon emissions even if they won’t admit that’s a contributor to the increase in temperatures.
As Republican Party presidential hopefuls position themselves for the 2016 republican primaries, denying climate change doesn’t appear to be the 2016 election strategy. More recently, republicans prefer to play dumb on the global warming issue.
“Now, I’m not a scientist…” has been a standard response to climate change questions for a long time within the republican echo chamber. For decades the GOP response was simply that climate change is a hoax. Recently, however, they’ve realized they’re loosing a lot of educated republicans who don’t want to be affiliated with a gaggle of science deniers. As such, they’ve settled on “The climate changes, but not necessarily because of humans and all the things we love to burn.” There are a few super-red politicians who use the, “Climate change is unsettled science.” line, but as a whole, the GOP has changed its anti-science spin in a way that can give room for actual climate policy – if progressives stop pushing them so hard about the cause.
2016 republican presidential hopefuls are playing the dumb card as their political strategy deflection of choice: “I’m not totally denying climate change, I’m just playing dumb about why it’s happening because I don’t like science-y stuff. Please vote for me for president! God bless America!” What I say to Liberals: take the win. They admit the climate is changing – that’s progress – so for the time being stop trying to make them admit why.
It doesn’t matter what the cause of climate change is. Let the Republican Party deny (or make up) the cause so they can collect their campaign contributions. Get over it, liberals. These republicans are right: they are not scientists. We need to get beyond the “what causes global warming” political roadblock so we can finally address the real question: What are we going to do about increasing global temperatures? Once the GOP starts talking about policy to address that problem, then they’ll be trapped into regulating carbon emissions. The act of creating policy will force them into the causal corner.
Jump To: Solution to global warming: blame Obama
Republicans can deny the cause of global warming, but that doesn’t give them a free pass avoid offering solutions to climate and environmental problems. I don’t care what caused the sink hole in the middle of the road: I just want it fixed!
While on the topic of sinkholes: Florida, the sinkhole of North America, has packed with republicans denying global while they quietly buy property further away from shore. Mr. Jeb Bush, I’ll go along with your on camera claims: humans are not causing the oceans to rise… but that doesn’t mean the ocean are not rising… so what are you going to do about it? The solution to the problem – regardless of cause – must be addressed by smart, serious people. Thus far no 2016 republican presidential candidates appear to fit that requirement.
Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz: I don’t want to hear you failed science in high school, I want to hear your plans for protecting the coastlines. Prove to us you have the capacity to do the job. Show the country you can be serious men, not just angry men.
Let’s take a look around the world at all these temperature-driven weather events that are terrorizing coastlines and tornado belts. Temperatures are increasing. Fact. Temperature changes impact weather patterns. Fact. Now I understand that “weather” is science stuff, and the Republican Party is definitely, definitely not packed full of scientists, but stick with me nevertheless. Given what we know from naturally occurring temperature increases in the past (I’m assuming you accept that the Earth is older than 6000 years, but hey, the GOP are “not scientists” so I can’t make any assumptions) – based on history: when the temperature rises floods happen. Weather happens. Droughts happen. These weather and climate change events are happening now. The cause only mattered had we done something about it 50 years ago to curb the cause – now that we are in this position, the cause doesn’t matter anymore.
Now: what are you going to do about it?
Y’all climate denying republicans want to be president of the freaking United States of America. That position requires a serious and intelligent person.
Every single one of us (you know: American citizens who you are supposed to be working for) knows why you deny that carbon emissions influence the temperature of the Earth. We get it. Go ahead and take that cash. If you want to deny science on TV, and in speeches, and when voting on the floor of Congress… that’s your right I suppose, but you are vying for a job that’s designed to do things. What are you going to do?
The Florida coastline continues to disappear, Senator Marco Rubio: as president what are you going to do about it? You can deny the cause, but you can’t thereafter do nothing about the reality of houses falling into the ocean. You still need to let us voters know if you plan to build walls or start filling sandbags, or just move a couple million people away from the coastlines to higher ground.
Democrats: let republicans win the political debate that humans do not cause global warming. Who cares!?! Hell, let them make up any cause they want. Let them say Obama caused global warming…
Solution to global warming: say Obama caused it. Nothing rallies the republican base against something like it being created by Obama.
To Republicans running for president in 2016: you should say that Obama caused global warming. This election strategy is actually good for everyone involved. Tell the conservative base that Obama seeds clouds with Kenyan-made airplanes flown by mariachi bands (or something, whatever plays the best on air). Yes. Yes, this is our answer! The GOP political spin should not be global warming is a hoax… it should be “global warming will end the world as we know it… and it’s all Obama’s fault!” (…. well, it’s half true, anyway …)
I’m positive the “Obama caused global warming” strategy will get republicans in red states millions of dollars in small-donor campaign contributions. Moreover, once the insane science-denying GOP voter base accepts in their republican-wired brain that temperatures are, in fact, increasing – because of course they’ll accept it if Obama is the cause of global warning – then we might finally be able to do something about it. Everybody wins!
Step aside Al Gore! This is the solution to global warming: blame climate change on President Obama! “Obama is to blame” will motivate and mobilize the republican base to end global warming for the first time in history, and with a vigor not seen before on this smog-ridden planet: Sarah Palin will lead the charge to reduce carbon emissions on dog sleds and battery powered snow machines! The Koch brothers will run wind-power ads during Two and a Half Men and plant trees during the Superbowl! Glenn Beck will hold fuel efficiency rallies on the steps of the Capitol! Hannity will give away free solar panels at the end of every broadcast! The possibilities are endless once it’s all Obama’s fault!
When Chuck Norris told the country that the sky would drip with fire if Obama was elected… he was talking about acid rain! It all makes sense now!
Let’s get to it Tea Party! Obama caused global warming, so in the name of Freedom, y’all better get out there and put a stop to it right now!
Save the Planet: Blame Obama.
Published: by | Updated: 02-15-2017 17:44:08
