There was a period in my life when most of the parties I attended featured blindfolds.
I think that might be what’s happening in the process of selecting a republican candidate for President of the United States.
Ah yes, the endless Republican party of 2012 and its primary election season of mishaps, dizziness, and party fouls. Daily I ask whoever is around me, “Dude? What’s up with Republican politics?”
Blindfolds can be a very effect augmentation to any selection process. They’re excellent when you want to have fun, potentially reach a goal, but if you reach a goal that’s no good, people just laugh, slap you like a champion on the back, and no one can be blamed for the poor chap who now has a hole in his shoulder and a tale hanging from his arm. (What WAS his name?)
Beyond the organizational and fundamental mistakes that the Republican party has made in their primary elections (i.e. Who won Iowa? How many delegates does Florida have and how are they allotted? Wait, Missouri’s February primary was just a dress rehearsal that cost how much?)…. beyond all that… the Republican party primary election process is a mess. Zero loyalty, zero organization, uncontrollable super PACs, a completely divided voter base – blindfolds. Who HASN’T at one time or another been the front-runner by polls in this thing?
And so… blindfolds, spinning bottles and general dizziness causing election chaos. (It sure is fun to watch.)
Early on, my childhood, the blindfolds were used to make it more difficult to pin “the tale” on the donkey. Sometimes the more adventurous parents would add spinning in circles to the party’s equation. It really was amazing the things onto which us kids in our blind dizziness would attempt pin the tale: the pizza guy, the singer, the geeky dad chaperone, the guy dressed as a cowboy.
Not to brag, but I quickly graduated to blindfolds that were complimented by empty bottles and hardwood floors. (Why, exactly, we did blindfolds AND spinning the bottle, I can’t remember, but I think one person in particular got too talented at determining where the bottle would stop. Musical chairs AND spin the bottle, really.)
Blindfolded Spin the Bottle was basically a political process that featured much less loyalty to the rest of the people at the party. But what it lacked in loyalty it sure made up for in fun and a desperate grasp to the hope that eventually the bottle would stop on that one person you REALLY wanted to engage in a clumsy lip-nose-braces locking embrace. And depending our states of mind, the occasional chaotic exercise of fundamental rights while pushing the limits of religious teaching by our grandparents.
As I grew older the purpose of the blindfold simplified to its core purpose: so I couldn’t see where I was going or what was going to happen. Works pretty well. The fear of not being able to see is a great distraction. Doesn’t matter if I get touched by a feather or a car crash: both are shocking when blindfolded.
After the February 7th, 2012 “primaries” that accomplished nothing I really have to ask: what the hell is going on? Does anyone else think the Republican Party is falling apart? (or at minimum splintering itself with its own wedge issues). Does anyone else thing that they really don’t care how effective the person they vote for would be as President, but just how down right crazy and anti-progressive they can be in a stump speech? What’s going on with the Republican party?
Awhile ago “the media” kept using the phrase “adult in the room” when it came to what was “non-happening” in Washington. That fracturing of the Republican party that has put Congress at a standstill has infected the entire process: no one can agree where the donkey’s ass is. We have a bunch of kids running around pinning and spinning in a dizzy frenzy because they can’t see.
They just can’t see.
While I like the childlike innocence of the (poorly executed) metaphor, it’s time for the adults to come back into the room and take off the blindfolds.
Published: by | Updated: 03-11-2012 12:29:10
