So the anointed supreme leader of North Korea has authorized nuclear attacks against the United States… all normal when you live inside a bubble. North Korea… Republicanland… it’s basically the same: The longer you spend inside a bubble, the more you turn into a yapping toy poodle. But we do hope this kid isn’t as crazy as his rhetoric makes him sound.
Yes, putting Kim Jong Un in a Dark Helmet Spaceballs uniform is down right disrespectful… but sometimes I can’t help myself… I play with photoshop, he plays with tanks and missiles. All’s fair in war… the weapons are just a bit different.
So… Kim Jung Un… why don’t you calm down a wee bit, eh? We all go through puberty, and getting a new job, and then having to adapt to life in a new marriage (I can imagine that sharing a bathroom is very, very difficult for you… the lid goes “down” not up, and yes, it DOES take that long to get ready for a night out in Pyongyang). All of those life changes are hard. I get that. They can cause a lot of stress… but you really don’t want to vent that stress by stomping on the ground, pounding your chest and shouting “War, War War!” in a giant room with a giant map on the wall surrounded by old guys in funny hats. Chill out, man! Go have a good time with your wife. Make a baby not a war.
Does Kim Jong Un want to start a war? Chances are no… he’s just acting like a young man without a father. As some have said, “he’s not suicidal.” Nevertheless, Kim Jong Un is teething right now. He’s trying to figure out just how far he can push the line of dictator-insanity…. you’re very, very close to crossing it, Kim. I know you want the world to see you as a big strong man, get out of the shadow of your father (chuckle) but all this “pissing your territory” might get your own country destroyed… what would your father think? What would your grandfather think?
Kim, you don’t want your brain to be in your feet, and you really don’t want to get your Schwartz all twisted – if you don’t stop soon, there’s an increasing chance something akin to Schwartz twisting is going to happen. In case you haven’t noticed, the rest of the world isn’t very happy with how your family has isolated your country. Your bubble (while sometimes a model for the republican information bubble) ought not be burst by F-22s and stealth bombers. If you want to keep your people locked inside the dome that is North Korea… if would be wise to back off the whole “war” thing.
Young people are prone to do stupid things, and we all hope you’re smarter than that. If you really want to prove yourself as a strong leader: get out of your helmet and allow your country to join the rest of the world.
